THE RED RIGHT HAND PODCAST

[29 March 2009]
PODCAST Episode IX

Sixth Rule: No Shirts, No Shoes

Introduction
Good afternoon, kids. Moving on from the cinematic bustle of the Christmas blockbusters and the wave of award seeking dramas, March and April are a relatively quiet time for yours truly. Granted, once May starts up again, we'll be entering summer blockbuster territory but until then screenings will only happen here-and-there which allows me to go and see whatever I please. In this case? Watchmen! Yes, welcome to Episode IX: Sixth Rule: No Shirts, No Shoes, fondly subtitled, The Watchmen Special. Naturally, I have seen certain films over-and-over, time-and-again but few films receive the honour of a revisiting while still playing at the cinema. The crown is currently held by The Matrix which I viewed six times at the sweet, semi-innocent age of fifteen, closely followed by Sin City and Serenity four times. But, more about such things later in my extensive and thoroughly expansive critical analysis of this release, featuring podcast regular, Mr. Daniel Wickham. Alright, before pressing on, a rather talented actor friend of mine, a Mr. Lee Peck wrote in to say was reading some of your reviews some of the scathing ones are really funny. So thank you very much to you. Secondly, I would like to address the awesome power of 'the blank' *They blanked me! That's like an awesomely powerful thing to do in civilised society. It's like, it's like, it's like when the mafia send each other fish through the post* As most of you are aware, I currently reside in Norwich in the UK and walk about the city, going about my business with a scowl on my face and my iPod ringing in my ears. This combination means I inadvertently miss people in the streets as they pass me by. Many listeners and readers have written in saying, "I think I saw you the other day," almost all of them recognising my large coat, menacing expression and awesome hair - the words evil gringo have been used. Anyway, I would like to firstly apologise for my rudeness and assure you that if you take the time to stop me in the street, I will say hello and probably try and foist a business card off on you. However, if I look hungry, don't stop me; many a poor fool has come between me and food and regretted it. If it's any consolation, people, I saw Rick Wakeman in Norwich and was going to talk to him but I was so close to Baker's Oven that I just had to let it go. After last month's flurry of audio sample winners, I'm sorry to say nobody managed to correctly guess all of the audio samples used but the best of luck to you all this month. Finally, to close last month's podcast I quickly mentioned that I had spawned a new Top 10 page which has proved one of the most popular contributory elements of the site, with a veritable feast of suggested lists submitted; so, do keep those coming and if you have no idea what I'm on about, head on over to the site and check them out.

*You and I have a tendency towards corpulence. Corpulence makes a man reasonable, pleasant and phlegmatic. Have you noticed the nastiest of tyrants are invariably thin*

Review Of March 2009
Eighteen new UK releases this month.

Bottle Shock
Comedy
Dir. Randall Miller

Bronson
Bio Drama
Dir. Nicolas Winding Refn

The Burning Plain
Drama
Dir. Guillermo Arriaga

The Damned United
Sport Drama
Dir. Tom Hooper

Diminished Capacity
Comedy
Dir. Terry Kinney

Duplicity
Espionage Comedy
Dir. Tony Gilroy

Flash Of Genius
Drama
Dir. Marc Abraham

Hush
Horror Thriller
Dir. Mark Tonderai

Knowing
Mystery Drama
Dir. Alex Proyas

Lesbian Vampire Killers
Comedy Horror
Dir. Phil Claydon

The Life Before Her Eyes
Drama
Dir. Vadim Perelman

Martyrs
Horror
Dir. Pascal Laugier

Paul Blart: Mall Cop
Comedy
Dir. Steve Carr

Surveillance
Crime Thriller
Dir. Jennifer Chambers Lynch

Traitor
Crime Drama
Dir. Jeffrey Nachmanoff

Two Lovers
Romance
Dir. James Gray

Watchmen
Action Drama
Dir. Zack Snyder

The Young Victoria
Period Drama
Dir. Jean-Marc Vallee

*She is starting to damage my calm*
*Jayne*
*She's right, everybody's dead. This whole world's dead for no reason*

New Reviews & Feedback
[02-03-09] Watchmen
"Watchmen has always been one of the most amazing, challenging pieces of illustrated fiction and I'm happy to announce that the film adaptation has achieved the very same"
10/10
This month I have one special interest piece with Daniel Wickham and I will be addressing my thoughts and e-mailed feedback there.

[25-03-09] ...Around
"Films like this are the reason I love independent cinema"
8/10
I briefly mentioned this one at the end of my last podcast, it's an independent release from the States, directed by David Spaltro. In a way, it's very much a film student's film in the way that it's filmed, the way the story is covered and the issues it addresses - but it also makes for a good piece to study. I'm not entirely sure what it's future release will be in Europe but if it does make its way over here or if you happen to see a copy, by all means give it a look, it is a fantastic release. In the meantime, to obtain more information, go to aroundthefilm.com. As I said, it is a very worthwhile piece, so please, if you can, give it a look because sometimes it's harder to get any funding or recognition for a short, budgeted film than it is to get millions to produce Transformers 2 made... or something. And films like this should be celebrated and supported and focused on a lot more than some of the crap that gets released mainstream.

*You dare even touch her*
*You may think you're showing a little spirit in front of your lady friend but if you talk back to me again I'll feed your tongue to the dogs you impertenant little pup*

Ratings
Regency have no hold over me; none. So when they asked me to see Marley & Me, I don't think they were overly surprised by my reaction, which was largely, 'Get stuffed, I'm watching Watchmen!' Well they tried again and a further four more times before I eventually agreed to attend a screening. Yeah, alright, it wasn't awful. In point of fact, it was a rather sweet release held down by Jennifer Anniston's acting and Owen Wilson's inability to be funny. But this is certainly one for pet owners and without that kinship for animals, it's a bit of a hollow release. On the other hand, if you own a dog, it's incredibly sweet and endearing. Then we have Bronson, which is Britain's answer to Chopper and although it's a solid release, well acted by Tom Hardy it does somewhat glamorise the whole prison scene. Finally, Lesbian Vampire Killers. Yeah, stupid release; very much in the styling of Severance or The Cottage, desperately trying to be Shaun Of The Dead and failing miserably. Immature but enjoyable... to a certain degree. Probably going to be enjoyable if you enjoy that Gavin & Stacey show... personally I need a little more than someone warbling, "What's occurring?" Don't I Lewis.. don't I? Yeah, he knows what I'm talking about.

*You're on kid, but I can tell you it's a hard act to follow*

Best & Worst Releases Of The Month
2. Lesbian Vampire Killers
1. Diminished Capacity

2. The Damned United
1. Watchmen

*Well, there are people called train chasers, they follow a train and they film it*
*Are you a train chaser?*
*No*
*How come*
*I don't know how to drive a car and I don't own a camera*
*That'd do it*

Special Feature
*Extensive interview with Daniel Wickham regarding Watchmen*

*The war machine was running out of gas and there was no alternative; alternative fuel that is*

Coming Soon
With Watchmen released it doesn't look like there's a great deal to look forward to, just a heap of 'splodey summer blockbusters. However, if we look toward the end of the year, four slight exceptions present themselves. First we have Park Chan-Wook's surreal horror Thirst. As one of Korea's most revered directors I'm intrigued to see where he's going to take this. I'm pretty sure it will premiere at Cannes, so balls knows when there'll be a general release. Sticking with the horror genre, there's also the remake of The Wolf Man starring Benicio Del Toro, Hugo Weaving, Emily Blunt and Anthony Hopkins. It's a period piece and looks rather interesting, expect a late 2009 release, probably November. Tim Burton's also working on an adaptation of Alice In Wonderland that he claims will look like nothing he has ever done before. There was a lot of talk about a 2009 release but I think maybe this time next year is more likely and finally, James Cameron's first big flick since 97's Titanic, Avatar is probably going to be our big Christmas box office taker. Oh, I'm also looking forward to Little Ashes, which I will hopefully be reviewing some time in April and 500 Days Of Summer but this has unfortunately been put back until October of this year. Bugger.

*You're a gentleman*
*And you are a Warwickwhire shithouse*

What I Watched Today
Earlier today I watched Jurassic Park *Boy, do I hate being right all the time*; no real idea why, sure it's horrendously flawed in places but I saw it as a kid and loved it ever since... feckin' dinosaurs, man! Anyways, I also watched Rashomon *Life is as fragile and frail as morning dew. I'm sorry yours had to end this way.* 'cause I love Akria Kurosawa. You'd be hard-pressed finding any film buff who doesn't. And finally 2005's A Cock And Bull Story *That's the way I do Pacino. That's the way I always.. real fucking loud, like that. It's real fucking loud, big, sound like that, all the fucking time* *That's Columbo* And this month's noir night film will be The Maltese Falcon *When you're slapped, you'll take it and like it* I'd also like to congratulate Hammad who has started his own noir night, based on whatever film we're watching - if you'll recall, Hammad wrote in for Episode II, where I mentioned he lives in East Longmeadow, Massachusetts. So, if you're in East Longmeadow and know this guy Hammad, shake his hand for me.

*Only a psychotic would do that; leave the front door of the house unlocked with a note on the dooor?*
*So what did you write on the note, Jim?*
*I wrote come on in, the door's unlocked*

Outro
As explained, March is always a slow month so please forgive this episode's sparseness; April will be an improvement... if only because it's my birthday. Oh, speaking of which, I've gone my entire twenty five years of existence without ever meeting anyone who shares a birthday with me. A short while ago, my critic friend, Richard highlighted that we shared the same birthday. Which was an incredible revelation. I quickly replied with, "Dude! I've never known anyone who shares my birthday!" And he hit me with another nugget by reminding me that he Is in fact a twin. So... big film critic party on the nineteenth then! With movies and quoting and paintball and hookers and blackjack and pleasure. I also received an email or two asking me about the 'pod war' between myself and the lads over at movietalk.podomatic.com. So far, no developments to report. I was sampled in one of their sketches and recently asked if I would like to play a Victorian or a Nazi in a future episode but so far it seems to be a bit of a cold war. As always, further developments will be mentioned as-and-when they come in. With that said, all that remains is for me to close this month’s podcast, thank all of you for listening and ask that you continue to stay loyal to the site. Do tune in next month for more cinematic dronings. Happy viewing, kids.

If you have any comments about my site theredrighthand.co.uk or this podcast, please feel free to email me at theredrighthandatyourservice@yahoo.co.uk
This month’s podcast was brought to you by the letter S



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