THE RED RIGHT HAND PODCAST

[28 February 2009]
PODCAST Episode VIII

When You Have To Shoot, Shoot; Don't Talk

Introduction
Good afternoon, kids. February has come to a close, Valentine's Day has passed (thank God) and Spring will soon be upon us; haven't decided if that's good or bad yet. Feeling a little sorry for so many listeners who couldn't place one-or-two of the audio samples, I decided to make last month's a little easier. This led to an absolute flourish of submissions and subsequently, many people came close but five individuals emerged victorious. First, we have our veteran winner, CherryBrooke56 but also this month DonnySprat, Spider89119, Richard Sheppard and Nora_Netterlash - all of whom have won themselves a terribly overrated mystery prize. Emails! Quite a few people have said to me, a podcast? Cool, I'll email you! And then they don't - sods. But my apologies to Tim as I somehow missed the email he sent in December. Natalie wrote in to say... hello again, this is because we met on the bustling streets of busy Norwich city. Hello again, your site is really cool! Thanks again for the card; I expect to be mentioned in the next podcast! Speak soon, blah blah. Consider this your mention, Ms. Natalie. Next, not really movie news, more snide gossiping and pointing but everyone seems to be talking about this audio clip of Christian Bale ripping into the director of photography for Terminator: Salvation. I'm on the fence for this one, yeah, the guy should have waited until the end of the scene but no, Bale shouldn't have completely flipped out like that; both very unprofessional really. It's all McG's fault for poorly running his set but whatever. If you haven't heard it, it's all over the net, you can probably find it somewhere; actually, here's a clip *It's fucking distracting to have someone walking around the scene behind Bryce. Give me a fucking answer!* *I was looking at the light* *Oh! Good for you!*. I sort of wished it was directed at me so every time he shouted something about lighting and what the fuck I was doing, I could don a Batman mask and shout back 'swear to me!' and 'what do you want from me, Joker?' Oh, oh and 'where's Rachel?' But completely deadpan and serious. It would have been awesome. Finally, Oscar news. I must say, I'm rather pleased that Slumdog Millionaire managed to take home as many awards as it did - despite a certain listener's complete disdain for the movie. There were also the usual political votes, namely Penn and Winslet. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, the Oscars voters have a tendency to award actors years after the performance they should have been awarded them for. In this case, Winslet has been looked over time-and-again but her role in Revolutionary Road was far greater than The Reader and although I agree with Sean Penn's nomination, the award should have gone to Mickey Rourke; they're just trying to smooth things out after 2006's Brokeback incident. Finally, on hearing that I would be giving my thoughts on the Oscars Michael wrote me this: The vast majority who are interested in the Oscars are high trend fashion obsessed female viewers looking at the outfits and who has had what surgery. It's a shallow sick event and becoming just as boring as the Eurovision Song Contest. I'm so surprised you even care. That one hit me a little, I actually really enjoy the Oscars. I don't always agree with the awards given or even the nominations but I like all the pomp... granted, the red carpet stuff is a tad boring but I usually look forward to the actual ceremony itself each year. Hmm... Michael, I think you have a fairly valid point but I think you're also a fool. There you go. Ok, plenty to get through this month so let's press on.

*Nigger, is you an old man or an old woman, I forget*

Review Of February 2009
Twenty one new UK releases this February.

Bolt
Animated Family
Dir. Byron Howard & Chris Williams

Brothers
War Drama
Dir. Jim Sheridan

Cadillac Records
Drama
Dir, Darnell Martin

Che: Part II - Guerrilla
Bio-Drama
Dir. Steven Soderbergh

Confessions Of A Shopaholic
Comedy
Dir. P.J. Hogan

The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button
Drama
Dir. David Fincher

Doubt
Drama
Dir. John Patrick Shanley

Franklyn
Fantasy Thriller
Dir. Gerald McMorrow

Friday The 13th
Horror
Dir. Marcus Nispel

Gran Torino
Drama
Dir. Clint Eastwood

Hamlet 2
Comedy
Dir. Andrew Fleming

He's Just Not That Into You
Romantic Comedy
Dir. Ken Kwapis

Hotel For Dogs
Family
Dir. Thor Freudenthal

The International
Thriller
Dir. Tom Tykwer

New In Town
Comedy
Dir. Jonas Elmer

Notorious
Bio-Drama
Dir. George Tillman Jr.

The Pink Panther 2
Comedy
Dir. Harald Zwart

Punisher: War Zone
Action
Dir. Lexi Alexander

Push
Action Sci-Fi
Dir. Paul McGuigan

The Unborn
Horror Thriller
Dir. David S. Goyer

Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Romantic Comedy
Dir. Woody Allen

*I've noticed you there, you may have noticed me*
*Indeed I have. Throwing torrents of abuse to every single person who steps off those boats*
*If only I had the guns, Mr. Tweed, I'd shoot each and every one of them before they set foot on American soil*

New Reviews & Feedback
[31-01-09] Bolt
"A vast improvement over Meet The Robinsons and Chicken Little but Disney still have a lot of catching up to do"
6/10
The urge to just sit here and play quotes from the hamster character, Rhino, is overwhelming but I'll try to resist. Speaking of which, Sanchez wrote in to bemoan me highlighting the hilarious hamster. He writes, Bolt is a great film but they made the same mistake every other kids film does. Hamsters don't belong in balls! Please don't lock your hamster in such a ball. I don't own a hamster. Their sight is limited by the plastic ball and the hamster doesn't understand and panics; which is interpreted by humans as joy. You should mention this in your review! Yeah, I'm not doing that... but I've mentioned it here, so hopefully that counts for something.

[02-02-09] Doubt
"Tackling controversy, personal boundaries, adolescent homosexuality, feminism, modernism, school life and the church, Doubt asks a lot of questions and gives anything but easy answers"
9/10
Received a lot of praise for my review and the opinions therein, so thank you for that. Paul noted, Great film but Shanley should have let someone else direct his play a point which I am inclined to agree with but I also think that in the hands of a cinematic director it would have been a very different release... with explosions... and nudity. Gordon writes all the way from Hong Kong to say, Very engaging film, my friends and I loved the film and will add your points to our ongoing discussion and finally, because there's always one, Justine wrote in to say, I doubt this movie! I thought the trailer looked so good but when I saw the movie it was bad. First of all, instead of the serious, this was more like a drawn out comedy. Amy Adams character completely contradicted the seriousness of how this movie should have been. Meryl Streep's character took forever to get to the point of the movie and start yelling at Philip Seymour Hoffman's character. Also Viola Davis' character had the pointless subplot of "having to get to work". That had nothing to do with the point of the movie and took away from it somewhat. Overall I was very disappointed with this movie after seeing such a great trailer Wow. Have you ever noticed that people who dislike intelligent films can never really present their arguments very well? I mean, even if I completely hate a film, I like to think my review is concise and coherent.

[03-02-09] The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button
"Deep film with an agonisingly beautiful message"
9/10
Jason wrote in to say, Among a group of 5-6 friends I was the only one who did not like this movie; to me it will just be remembered as a boring movie with a long name. Did you even read my review!? Look at the last bloody paragraph! Jamie also emailed to complain, What are you talking about? This was like the Curious Case Of Benjamin Boring! Again with the boring comments, It was emotionless and boring and other than the special fx it would have been so boring! Again, review, last paragraph. You know, if I didn't believe that I'd go to Hell for strangling these people, I happily would. Throttle some sense into the littl... oh, I'm also thinking of starting classes and teaching kids from an early age what makes for a good film... so just ignore that bit about throttling. Alice wanted to address a point I made in my highlighted scene section, You wrote that I'm sure I'll get a fair few disagreeing emails about this point, well you're right! You wrote that men don't judge women by their beauty and appearance and that is completely wrong! My husband left me for a younger woman, now you tell me how that fits in with your theory. Well, I'm terribly sorry to hear that and although I am completely unaware of your situation and what-have-you, I only said that most kind-hearted men love the woman they do for who they are, how they return said love and not always for how they look. But I understand your point. And finally, at the other end of the spectrum, Kent sent this, I saw this film after reading your review and it was such a magical event! I sort of doubt this, just a little. I mean, at the time my review came out, this film had received thirteen Oscar nominations and immense critical acclaim, I would have thought those influential factors would have been a tad more prevalent. If you read this out in your podcast can you please end by saying that I thought it was a captivating piece of art that shouldn't be missed by anyone. Alright.

[17-02-09] Gran Torino
"It's a story about a miserable old bastard who overcomes his own inhibitions and teaches a few bullies a lesson; how could I not love this film!?"
10/10
I'm genuinely shocked and surprised to report that absolutely nobody bad mouthed my Gran Torino review. I received emails agreeing with my points from Leon, AudioFileZ, LafinAtchu... (wait, I just got that, hehe) Bill (who wrote in previously, Episode IV, I believe) and Jenny918. So thank you to all of you.

[18-02-09] Confessions Of A Shopaholic
"This film could have been so much more, it could have been such a relevant and poignant comedy. Instead, an interesting premise was reduced to superficial bailouts and screwball antics"
2/10
I came out of the film thinking that the release date was sometime in March but no, it was February. Thankfully, I received only one piece of feedback, from Chloe, I don't know who your sources are but I read the book and the film is much better. On an impulse I picked up the book for 'Confessions' and it was simply awful! The heroine was whiny and her continual lying made you hope she went to a mental institution. Isn't that exactly how it was in the film? But there's none of it in the movie! Evidently not. It was delightful! I found myself laughing out loud several times.. Just to quickly add something here, Chloe didn't actually write laughing out loud she wrote LOLing... but I'm outright refusing to use that . I hate the acronym LOL! Hate it! ..and my daughter loved it. All I can say is kudos to the screenwriters for salvaging the story.

[23-02-09] Franklyn
"A rather jilted, unhinged piece but thoroughly rewarding for the open-minded"
7/10
Absolutely no feedback for this one as it's only just being released in the UK now and I don't think it's out in the States until... well, knowing US releases it may get gleaned over completely but for my US listeners, try to obtain a copy, it's a very impressive, very original film that deserves a lot of attention.

[24-02-09] The Young Victoria
"Fantastic period drama marred largely by a terribly rushed finale"
7/10
Although this film isn't due out on general release in the UK until 6th March, I did have some feedback from a friend who attended the screening, largely agreeing with my review. Barbara stated, I thought the film was good and there were a lot of name-cast but the ending was a bit odd. I just didn't know where they were going to go with it. It makes you wonder why they didn't cover her entire life.

*NOT AVAILABLE AT PRESENT*

Ratings
Alright, films I didn't get round to reviewing. Let's go in alphabetical order for a change. First we have the reimaging reboot remake of Friday The 13th, which wasn't nearly as bad as I was expecting. But as fellow critic, Mr. Hawes, pointed out, it is kind of strange that the title card doesn't appear for a good fifteen minutes. Still, good horror film, worth a watch. Then we have He's Just Not That Into You which is the star-studded romantic comedy that I was sort of looking forward to. Yeah, with Ken Kwapis directing I wasn't entirely sure whether it was going to go down the License to Wed route or the Sisterhood Of The Travelling Pants road but I think it found a happy middle-ground. The International is a film about corrupt banks taking over the arms-dealing industry; you would be forgiven for thinking this was a documentary but it is in fact fiction and not great fiction at that. Quite an entertaining thriller but largely mush. And finally The Pink Panther 2, somehow roping more stars into its web of filth. Terrible remake that in no way justified a sequel. Just awful. Anybody surprised?

*NOT AVAILABLE AT PRESENT*

Best & Worst Releases Of The Month
2. Confessions Of A Shopaholic
1. The Pink Panther 2

2. The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button
1. Gran Torino

*NOT AVAILABLE AT PRESENT*

Special Feature
*Interview with Daniel Wickham regarding Confessions Of A Shopaholic*

*NOT AVAILABLE AT PRESENT*

*Discussion about Video Game Adaptations featuring Dave Chapman, Debs Chapman and Adam Gunton*

*NOT AVAILABLE AT PRESENT*

Coming Soon
Coming soon! It's only a week now, so I will try very hard not to squeal Watchmen at any point. Following the rather impressive Taken, Liam Neeson's new release is called Five Minutes In Heaven directed by Oliver Hirschbiegel (who directed Der Untergang) and from what I've heard it sounds pretty good. Then we have the poster released for Tony Scott's remake of The Taking Of Pelham 123 starring Denzel Washington and John Travolta - looks a little prosaic to me. I also saw the trailer for Fanboys which made me giggle a bit and the trailer for a live-action version of Blood: The Last Vampire which looks and feels nothing like the anime. And finally one of my connections at Disney announced that I may have four tickets for a screening for Hannah Montana: The Movie. Naturally, I laughed but I think she might be serious. Which is worrying. I mean, have you seen the trailer? Oh look, I'm in Tennessee, what a dump. Oh wait, it's kinda cute with its wide open fields, horse-riding and stable boys. Clearly they don't breed geniuses in Tennessee (well, except for Tennessee Williams... and possibly Morgan Freeman). If you don't know, I think the premise is that this Smiley Myrus girl is an ordinary girl but when she dons a blonde wig she becomes pop sensation Hannah Montana. And now she is being forced to pick one life or something; I don't know. Anyways, this young stable hand is talking to Hannah (which is really Miley Cyrus in a wig, shh, don't tell) and says, *So you and Miley are pretty close?* *You have no idea* She's just wearing a wig! The Clark Kent disguise is one thing but come on! *sigh* Look for a possible review soon, kids. ......Watchmen. Damnit!

*NOT AVAILABLE AT PRESENT*

What I Watched Today
Long day today, got through The Rocketeer *Did you have a good time?* *Go ahead and stick that welding torch in my ear and we'll call it the perfect end to the perfect day* I think it's pretty cool. And Closer *You're a coward, you spoilt bitch. Are you dressed 'cause you thought I'd hit you? What do you think I am?* *I've been hit before* *Not by me! Was he a good fucK?* *Don't do this* Racy, wordy stuff from Mr. Nichols, nice to see actors breaking out of their comfort zones - and also one of the first films I reviewed for this site. Way Of The Gun *Do you believe in karma, Joe?* *Karma? Karma's only justice without the satisfaction. I don't believe in justice* Clever little crime flick from the dude who wrote The Usual Suspects. Speaking of that film... Adam? Have you watched it yet? No? For crying out loud! And finally cannibal horror Ravenous *We're just looking for a home. And this country is looking to be whole, stretching out its arms and consuming all it can* You know how people talk about the soundtracks to their life? This concept whereby you list songs by The Beatles or Bruce Springsteen that clearly define the moments in your life? Not me, the soundtrack for Ravenous by Damon Albarn and Michael Nyman from beginning to end sums me up completely; a truly underestimated, underrated and thoroughly enjoyable tale. Finally, to add something new, I've started up a little monthly Noir Night in which I gather friend/s, don a fedora, order Chinese and enjoy a decent noir flick. Film Noir is my absolute favourite genre and I hope to explore and share various titles over the coming year. This month's masterpiece was Double Indemnity *I killed him for money and a woman. I didn't get the money and I didn't get the woman. Pretty, isn't it? * A classic start, I think you'll agree.

*NOT AVAILABLE AT PRESENT*

Outro
Before closing this month I have but two points to make. The first is to quickly highlight a few independent film releases. First we have ...Around from David Spaltro. One of the best low-budget independent releases I've seen in a long time. It's already done well at a few festivals in New York but I'm hoping to generate a bit of European press awareness to ensure some form of release over here. Expect a review for that one up shortly. In the mean time, further details can be found at www.aroudnthefilm.com. Secondly we have an interesting release entitled Fog. This one is still in production so not a great deal yet but I've been rather taken with the script and the named crew, so it looks rather promising. Hopefully I'll receive a screener disc on completion and get a review online when I can. Again, for more details go to www.myspace.com/fogthefilm. Anybody that has visited the front page recently will have noticed the new scrolling marquee, highlighting the updates to the site as-and-when they happen. I've received a great deal of feedback on my various Top 10 lists and a few suggestions of other lists to publish. So, if you have an idea for a new top 10 email it to me and I'll publish the best ones with a credit to your good self. Try to steer away from things like genre or specific acting rolls and think more of crazy things. Top 10 wigs, top 10 explosions, top 10 deaths, top 10 filing cabinets.. top 10 scenes of a sexual nature... whatever. With that said, all that remains is for me to close this month’s podcast, thank all of you for listening and ask that you continue to stay loyal to the site. Do tune in next month for more cinematic dronings. Happy viewing, kids.

If you have any comments about my site theredrighthand.co.uk or this podcast, please feel free to email me at theredrighthandatyourservice@yahoo.co.uk
This month’s podcast was brought to you by a Capital G... I-pushed-a-button-and-elected-him-to-off...



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