THE RED RIGHT HAND PODCAST

[01 May 2010]
PODCAST Episode XVIII

If You Don't Have A Drummer Then Why Do You Have Drums, You Fitful Of Assholes!?

Introduction
Good afternoon, kids Matt Stogdon here from theredrighthand.co.uk. No longer will the online airwaves be void of decent film reviews, movie news and poignant comments! No longer will the public be forced to spend their time socialising and living their lives happily! No longer will the likes of Richard & Steve be the highlight of the Norwich podcast media! *record scratch* Yeah, it's been a while but I'm back. Breathe it in, people - that's the stink of new podcast. Apologies for the delay, I was planning to re-launch the show in February but I was busy moving house and then I got caught up with my Cheesemint responsibilities *cough*cheesemint.com*cough*. After various emails, discussions and feedback, I have decided to drastically alter the regular layout; gone are the days of hour long rants and strange stop-starts of information. Instead we have an amalgamation of the various categories into a handful of manageable segments. Ok, this email has come from Abi: I really love the show, when will it be back? The answer to that is.. now. This is from Bethany: Your film quiz looks like great fun, is it only on in Norwich? Yes, I'm afraid I am only contracted to work at Cinema City in Norwich. But if you're in the area on the dates listed on the site, by all means come along. Teams range from 1-4 members and entry is a pound. Lots of prizes to win and the opportunity to meet me; so, it's well worth it. Rory has emailed in asking: Did I see you in a wig and makeup on YouTube. Er... yes, you did. Go to cheesemint.com for a full explanation. Shirley has noted that I've been reviewing films for nearly seven years and is curious how old I am. Well, today is 01-May-10 and I turned twenty six two weeks ago. Finally, I have had a few emails and comments over the years about the increasingly dated title page screen on my website. I keep meaning to change it for something with a little more glitz but I simply haven't had the time. I'll try and get it updated by next month. Ok? So, part of the new line-up, movie news. The lost twenty five minutes of Fritz Lang's Metropolis have been restored and are currently doing the rounds in US cinemas, not a great deal of news on European releases but expect a Blu-Ray version by the end of the year. The new Twilight trailer has made its way online. Why am I reporting this? Because I fucking hate this series with a passion and yet I'm expected to attend various screenings and Summit Entertainment keep sending me goddamn merchandise to make me change my mind. The trailer looks as alright as a Twilight release can be, I suppose. The Robert Rodriguez produced Predators, due for release late July, looks quite interesting; again, trailers online now. Listeners familiar with the show will recall I used to hold a monthly competition based on the audio samples used. Essentially, if you could correctly guess them all, I would email you a terrible mystery prize. No longer the case, at present there are maybe four-to-five audio samples per episode and they will share almost no link whatsoever.. but thanks for playing. Now, a word from podcast regular, Mr. Daniel Wickham.

*SAMPLE NOT AVAILABLE AT PRESENT*

Daniel's Thought Of The Month
The monthly thought/thoughts of Mr. Daniel Wickham (sometimes film related, other times simply anecdotes about children wondering the streets at 11pm). Warning: Comments made can be construed as unnecessarily random and/or offensive. Proceed with caution.

*SAMPLE NOT AVAILABLE AT PRESENT*

New Reviews & Feedback
Ok, for those unfamiliar with the show, this is the section where I read out your feedback and opinions of the reviews I have penned on my website. Each emailed comment is responded with a deep and thought out reply, however, on the podcast, I just like to read out my favourite bits.

[22-03-10] Kick Ass
"Silly, over-the-top and uproariously amusing, Kick Ass is little short of magnificence"
9/10
BlueGirl90 says: "As I told everyone with Watchmen, people should see this film, even if it's only to join the debate" I was a little confused and emailed her back asking what debate? She replied, "If it's too violent or rude or disloyal to the comic or whatever" DJjolene wrote in complaining, "What the fuck's wrong with you, the only way you could like this film is if you have a fetish for an eleven year old girl dressing up like a cheap hooker! This movie was more like Sucks Ass!" Delightful comments, absolutely nothing to support them but there you go. TheVaselineWizard wrote, "This film is a disaster, it's repetitive, boring, not funny at all and has no likable characters; just a bunch of psychos and dumb teens" on the other end of the scale, HotDip33 said, "Your review was fucking funny, this was the funniest film of the year!"

[29-03-10] Whip It
"Certainly not my thing but a reasonably well-made film (with an utterly hackneyed and banal plot) that will no doubt entertain some"
5/10
FunkyFootwear42 addressed my summary specifically and wrote, "Will no doubt entertain some? Yeah, it entertained me, jackass." TomThumb92 emailed in to say "This movie went far beyond what an average chick flick would. Hard to classify too.. and I'm a dude. I disagree with your review and think it's worth checking out if you're a fan of hip movies or just comedy in general" and finally Donny wrote, "5/10? What the heck is wrong with you!? Roller Derby feminist crap with a nerdy twig of a girl, who thinks that's good?"

[09-04-10] Dear John
"A fairly tolerable romantic drama that failed to truly annoy me but in no way is it a 'good' film. This morning I came up with a new word to describe something that is mildly displeasing: Cramsons. Even at its best Dear John is cramsons"
5/10
Wayne sent me these thoughts, "You're right, it's not a bad movie but it doesn't work as it should either" Xandromeda202 said, "It was just really disappointing, I wanted more" and finally these words from Faith in LI, NY - I assume that means Long Island, New York? Any yank listeners, feel free to write in and correct me, "You need to stop bashing this movie, it touches something strong and beautiful" I don't know if she meant to say 'touches on' but that's how it's written, "It can be for anyone, even men"

[14-04-10] Date Night
"Fey and Carell manage to entertain despite the hideously outlandish plot in this amusing screwball comedy"
7/10
Dick sent this, "I can't believe you didn't mention the Eurotrash bit!" I emailed him back and he explained that there was a monk's reward after the credits.. which I didn't stay for. Damn it! Duncan wrote in saying, "You should define funny at the start of your review, 'cause none of this was funny!" MrPinksBagOfDiamonds wrote, "I love The Office and 30 Rock but this wasn't funny!" and lastly LakersFan1989 said, "Shitty idea, I bet the cast had more fun and laughs than the audience"

I should be commenting on my Iron Man 2 review here but due to the volcano ash, the premiere was moved from London to LA, so my screening was pushed back too.
All these reviews are available online, just head on over to www.theredrighthand.co.uk and click 'reviews' on the left-hand side.

*SAMPLE NOT AVAILABLE AT PRESENT*

Special Feature
Interview with no-one regarding nothing. Also, I've been getting emails about the hour-long special summary of the year 2009. It's been a bitch to edit and finding the time to get it all done has been a monumental cluster-fuck but I'm doing my best to give a crap about your comments and I'll hopefully have it online by the end of next week (probably around 15-May-2010)

*SAMPLE NOT AVAILABLE AT PRESENT*

Outro
Just a quick look ahead at the upcoming May releases. Most importantly we have potentially hilarious comedy, Hot Tub Time Machine, starring John Cusack, Craig Robinson and others. There's the Nightmare On Elm Street remake which could be alright but more than likely will probably just be a complete waste of time. Ridley Scott's return to medieval period action with Robin Hood - of which I am wholly undecided about. This could either be a fantastic piece or it could end up being a massacre of British legend by a Geordie and a bunch of actors from down under. Herzog's return with his Bad Lieutenant sequel. I don't have as many issues with Nicholas Cage as others seemingly do, so I'm actually looking forward to this. Then there's The Rock's family comedy, Tooth Fairy, which has been a long-running joke at the film quiz. No doubts it'll be awful, even if The Rock is a hilarious and charming mofo - I think that's what the kids say these days. And two big blockbusters to close the month, Prince Of Persia and Sex And The City 2. I'm hoping the former will be alright and I'm hoping the latter is just an elaborate practical joke. Well, there we go, new format, new show. If you have any thoughts, comments or opinions about these radical changes, by all means email them to me. I'm sure I'll give a crap. If for any reason, you desperately want your voice on the show, send me an MP3 or .wav soundbyte and I'll be sure to include it next month. All that remains is for me to say thank you for listening, join me again next month and happy viewing, kids.

If you have any comments about my site theredrighthand.co.uk or this podcast, feel free to email me at theredrighthandatyourservice@yahoo.co.uk



If you have anything you would like to say to me with regards to my reviews, comments or the site in general please feel free to contact me and express your thoughts. I can't guarantee I will respond but that's because I'm lazy.