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THE REBOUND Bart Freundlich Starring Catherine Zeta-Jones Justin Bartha Kate Jennings Grant I genuinely pity each individual involved in this flat, mediocre, flabby waste of everyone's time. The whole movie desperately tries to offer something new and edgy but churns out a wholly lacklustre paint-by-numbers affair. Unengaging, uninspired, unoriginal and unbelievably dull. The plot focuses on Sandy [Zeta-Jones], a sub-urban mother who leaves her cheating husband to start a new life in New York with her two kids. At the same time, we are introduced to young Aram Finkelstein [Bartha], whose backstory portrays him as a coasting youngster (around twenty five) separated from his French wife, who was simply using him to get a Green Card. Both individuals feel desensitised by love and relationships but after Sandy hires Aram as a babysitter and seeing how well he gets on with her children, forms a relationship. Which essentially means the film works in three distinct parts; Act I: Neither lead enjoys the company of people their own age; Act II: Leads get together, everything is great; Act III: It doesn't work out, too many issues. And each part is littered with as many tired, cliché, predictable elements as possible. Would you like to know my personal stance on the issue? If you're wondering, the issue is age differences in couples. I feel people mature differently, some reach maturity early, others never have a full grasp of their responsibilities and commitments -- that just boils down to what you're like as a person (and how much I would hate you). Just as every couple's circumstances are different, so too are the age difference issues. Some just get on with it and others make a song and dance about how it would never work and that there are simply too many conflicting factors. The only time age difference should come into question is when the younger person is of an illegal age. . . at the end of the day, both parties are using the other for something. And that is the reason this film exists. Not to entertain audiences or tell an escapist story but ultimately it's Catherine Zeta-Jones' chance to justify her relationship with Michael Douglas. That my not be one hundred per cent accurate but this shell of a movie pissed me off; I can't help it. So, aside from my inability to really get behind the driving force of the film, are there any substantial problems with this release? The editing is fine and believe it or not the pacing cruises happily along without making too many erratic jumps but that's about all the good news. The writing is trite and formulaic, the acting is credible but sub-par and fails to engage the viewer, the drama is purely social and drummed up out of nothing, the score is almost non-existent which is criminal due to the fact that it was produced by Clint Mansell - one of the greatest cinematic composers around, Justin Bartha's stupid grin made me want to deck him every five minutes, furthermore there was absolutely no chemistry between the leads and not for one minute did I believe them to be a legitimate couple and finally the annoying precocious kids - I hate this current trend that all children portrayed onscreen have to be these wise-cracking, self aware, mini adults. You'll notice below that I've listed the US release date as TBA; this is because the studio is trying to generate money abroad before it can get a North American release, depending on financial reaction - largely due to the fact that they don't want to lose money and they believe that Zeta-Jones' presence will attract prospective audiences. I'm just doing my part to ensure no one has to part with their money to endure this dross. Release Date: UK - 30th July 2010 US - TBA 2010 The Scene To Look Out For: After Aram has come to terms with his (only) confrontation with Sandy, he decides she's right and he needs to see the world. So off he goes, back-packing around the globe; clapping along with Indians, walking around Venice, drinking hibiscus tea in Turkey and jumping up-and-down with Zulus - fuck knows how he funded it. Absolute bollocks. I'm twenty six. I've travelled a fair bit and done what I would consider a great deal in my little life. However at no point in my existence have I ever wanted to back-pack anywhere. It may sound silly but it's just a clear example of the kind of unimaginative stereotypical bullshit this film presents as fact. Notable Characters: Art mother fucking Garfunkel. That's right, the ginger afro-sporting old guffer of Simon & Garfunkel played Aram's crotchety old father. And all he did was drum up a bland portrayal of an elderly Jewish guy talking about the surgery on his arsehole. Whoopee-fucking-do. Highlighted Quote: "Was he a pimp? I'm a pimp and Susie's my ho. We play it at lunchtime" In A Few Words: "An absolute waste of everyone's time, money and attention; in a word, tedious" Total Score: 
3/10Matthew Stogdon |
