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THE TWILIGHT SAGA Chris Weitz Starring Robert Pattinson Kristen Stewart Taylor Lautner My review for Twilight has become something of legend with the readers of this site. I was more embittered than usual at the time and the review displays a veritable array of horrendously shameful put-downs. Having read over it again, my opinion still stands. New Moon picks up from where its predecessor left off, Bella [Stewart] is still hopelessly in love with her pale, vampire boyfriend, Edward [Pattinson]. However, about to turn eighteen, she has increasing fears over her ever-aging body, in comparison to that of her unchanging immortal lover. After a brief violent incident, Edward comes to the conclusion that his presence will only hinder and eventually ruin Bella's life; as such, he and his family members opt to leave town. But that's not all - to ensure Bella moves on, Edward dumps her. After three months of staring out the window and suffering horrific nightmares, Bella discovers that she can 'see' Edward when she puts herself in danger. With this in mind, she turns to childhood friend, Jacob Black [Lautner] to help fix up a motocross bike for next-to-nothing. Having spent time with the young man, she learns to feel again and slowly forgets about Edward. It's around this time that Jacob experiences dramatic changes and pushes Bella away. I'm getting a little bored of explaining this plot, essentially, we're about an hour into the film at this stage and all that follows is the concept that Jacob is a werewolf, Edward thinks Bella is dead and tries to kill himself then Jacob gets annoyed that he's been essentially dumped for the vamp boy. There, plot done. In light of my extremely scathing review for the first piece in this four-part saga, I will start with the positive elements. In the hands of director, Chris Weitz, New Moon is graced with stronger visuals (both effects and general cinematography), improved pace and a greater sense of editing. Unfortunately, this brings the film up from sub-par to average. Sure, it's improved immensely but it still feels like a highly polished excretal excuse for a movie. There's also the orchestral score, which still works very well, proving to be the best part of the film (as was with the first instalment) and select acting talents. By that I am referring to the members of the Vampire elite, the Volturi - played by Michael Sheen, Jamie Campbell Bower and Dakota Fanning, all of which offer brief but highly memorable performances - and finally, Taylor Lautner as Native American Werewolf, Jacob Black.. but more about that in my highlighted character segment. Despite these positive elements, the whole thing is still saturated with soap opera styled melodramatic writing, moping from one plot development to the next, populated by 2D characters that feel the need to explain exactly how they're feeling all the time. In response to my opinions of this series, I have been bombarded with all manner of defensive arguments ranging from "You don't understand because you're a man" to "It's good to just turn your brain off and watch it" - I'm sorry, the cinematic junk food argument holds absolutely no water with me. A film being dumb is not something to be praised or celebrated; not every release that has copious amounts of romance or action needs to be moronic to work. Then there's Bella herself. I had my frustrations with the character but I simply chalked it up to being a bitter misanthropic git and Kristen Stewart being an incapable actress. Turns out, it's not just that but also the fact that she is a truly abysmal character. To my mind, the entire Twilight saga is little more than young Ms. Swan's inability to face the 'classic girl quandary' - that being which one to choose: the boring wimp, the hot-headed dick or the broody weirdo? The only difference between this fantastical drivel and real life is that each male wants nothing more than to see her happy and safe, to say nothing of any sexual intentions. I'm also curious what the hell people see in Bella. She's an annoying coquette with no job, no drive, no personality, no prospects, no hobbies, no social skills, and incredibly fickle. She has almost no qualities worth pursuing except that the vampire likes the way she smells and the werewolf had a crush on her when he was a kid. Further to that, her part is written so badly that the general population's ability to closely identify with her greatly disturbs me - this is an individual who never gets over anyone, never moves on or accepts the situation as it is, she simply replaces the loss of one life with another: Parents divorce. Bella loses her Mother's attention to professional baseball player, moves to live with father. Unable to fully connect with Father or other students, Bella hooks up with vamp. Vamp leaves her, she goes to wolf. Wolf gets moody, she turns to suicide. Wolf comes back but so does Vamp. Continually running from the difficult truths in life. So, why have I awarded this film a 4/10 (the same score as Twilight)? The briefest answer is that despite the improvements, nothing has changed. Sure, it looks better but at its core, New Moon is just as big an example of flawed and inept filmmaking as its predecessor was. At best, the whole series can be summarised as average escapism that preys on female fantasy. What do these movies teach impressionable young women? I mean, I bemoan the Harry Potter books but at least they allude to the concept of reality, that children and young adults are expected to face difficult trials and circumstances in order to prove their worth and earn respect. Both Twilight and New Moon pose similar points but offer no credible resolve, no real advice. Release Date: UK - 20th November 2009 US - 20th November 2009 The Scene To Look Out For: The most memorable scene for me is largely thanks to the audience reaction. Pushing her adrenaline quest a little too far, Bella races off on a motorbike before crashing arsehole-over-elbow into a rock. Jacob races over and notices she's bleeding, giving him 'ample' cause to strip off and use his grotty t-shirt to nurse her wound. It was pointless and wholly unnecessary but the audience burst into life with choruses of whooping and whistling. This is a British audience, I'm talking about, the kind of audience who rarely react to anything. To be fair, I wouldn't be surprised if this is little more than backlash for years of girls exposing their breasts onscreen for almost no reason. The only other scene I can recall took place after Jacob has saved Bella from drowning. Why did it annoy me? Well, two reasons. The first being it was a prime example of the terrible writing and secondly because it has been noted that I am curiously warm.. all the time. Sitting in the truck, Bella cuddles up to Jacob and states: BELLA: It must be nice to be warm all the time JACOB: It's a werewolf thing BELLA: No, it's a Jacob thing. You're always warm, like your own sun Holy shite! What the arse is that crap all about!? And on top of that being ridiculous, the audience lapped it up with cooing, sighing and rounds of 'aww' Oh! Oh! Or running through the woods in sparkly slow motion! Bloody hell that was fecking horrendous! Notable Characters: If it weren't for the terrible writing, I would actually feel quite bad for Jacob. The dude is there for Bella in her time of need and continues to show support, despite her inability to makeup her mind as to what she wants. I also sympathise with the actor as he is required to adhere to the seemingly standard werewolf uniform of jean shorts, trainers and nothing else, no matter what the weather. Mr. Lautner is still quite a way off real acting credibility but he's certainly demonstrated significant potential. The only question will be if he can shake off the burdensome chains of Twilight in favour of something substantial and worthwhile. Highlighted Quote: "Isn't that wonderful? I love a happy ending.. they are so rare" In A Few Words: "A directorial improvement but still little more than a two hour mope-fest with an indecisive cock-tease at its helm" Total Score: 
4/10Matthew Stogdon |
