The Red Right Hand
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A CHRISTMAS CAROL
God Bless Us, Every One

Director
Robert Zemeckis

Starring
Jim Carrey
Gary Oldman
Colin Firth

Where to start? I imagine I don't have to explain the plot by now. Surely, everyone knows it through-and-through. No? Well, just in case, I will offer a rendition. Essentially, we are introduced to a rather old and lonely man, who favours wealth and security in place of human contact and jollity: Ebenezer Scrooge [Carrey]. Unfortunately for him, he is pestered by the merry makings of those in the Christmas spirit. First he must shoo away portly gentlemen [Cary Elwes] demanding donations for the less fortunate, then his seemingly caffeine-riddled nephew [Firth] who insists on spreading Christmas cheer by annoying the piss out of everyone in sight. His final frustrations come when his lapdog of a bookkeeper, Bob Crachitt [Oldman] expects to be paid a full day's wage for taking Christmas day off. Exhausted by the burdens of social expectancy, he makes his way home and dines alone in his bedroom. Before turning in for the night, Scrooge is haunted by the ghost of his former partner, Jacob Marley [Oldman, yet again]. The apparition explains to Scrooge that he is cursed to walk the afterlife with only the chains and moneyboxes of his earthly greed for company. Marley goes on to warn Scrooge that a similar fate awaits him but he has a chance at redemption, in the form of three ghostly visitors. Marley eventually buggers off and after settling into bed, Scrooge is visited by the first spook; in this case, a rather mellifluously voiced candle.. thing. This is the ghost of Christmas past, who shows Scrooge his previous actions. The spirit departs and Scrooge receives his second visitor, the ghost of Christmas present: a rather terrifyingly jolly, fat bearded bastard in green (*cough* Father Christmas before Coca Cola stole the image and made him wear red *cough*). This spectre forces Scrooge to spy on current goings on, namely his employee's crippled yet disgustingly upbeat son, Tiny Tim and being ridiculed at his nephew's party. The final spirit is a shadowy wraith who basically points to things; things like empty chairs, gravestones and people celebrating his death. Scrooge cries for mercy and awakes on Christmas day, shrieking, "It's not too late!" Then he runs around in his pyjamas hugging people, singing, dancing and celebrating with all the other happy dingbats. There. Happy now!? As a Catholic, I've always seen Dickens' story as a tad odd, simply for the fact that it essentially bullies people into doing nice things and proposes that the true spirit of Christmas is being nice to people (which, I'll grant you, it sort of is) and fails to mention anything religious. If you'd like me to spell it out for you, A Christmas Carol is the birth of 'xmas'. Still, I thoroughly enjoy the tale and it's an extremely well-written little short story, so we shan't complain.

Now, the most important thing to mention about this release before I go on is that it is not intended for young children. Don't get me wrong, kids should read and know this story but this particular rendition is probably quite terrifying for the young-un's.

So, what works? Essentially, there are three genuinely positive points to highlight. The first is the script. Director, Robert Zemeckis has also credited himself as adapting the story for the screen, which he does with an incredible sense of loyalty - no real complaints or grumbles there. Then we have the performances, largely Jim Carrey as Scrooge, which are all reasonably endearing and praise-worthy; again, very few gripes. Finally, we have the visuals and by that I mean certain shots that were pleasing to the eye without feeling excessive or forced. Which leads me neatly to the overall visual feel to A Christmas Carol. Once again, Zemeckis has opted for motion-capture sequences which map an actors' performance and lace them in a computer generated coating. The main flaw of this method is a singularly strange side-effect that has been dubbed 'dead eyes' - you see, without animators editing hand/facial movements, each character looks fake and hollow. Thankfully, this time around animators have been employed to mimic the actors' motions and expressions... which makes the whole motion capture thing a bit of a waste of time. Still, as with Beowulf, improvements have been made and everything looks a little better - not perfect, but a little better. We are still stuck with the problem that when three or more characters grace the screen they are graced with as much realism as a plasticine doll. Then there's the gimmick of three-bloody-d. I'm sorry but it is a gimmick and nothing more. Random action/flying/chase sequences have been inserted to add interest to a piece centred on characters and emotion, all in the name of furthering the 3D effect - an effect, I might add, that decreases the brightness, sullies the visuals and forces the viewer to focus on select onscreen elements. My biggest point of contention with the CGI and motion capture elements stem from the fact that they are completely unnecessary and wholly unfounded. How many versions of this story have been filmed for cinema and television? Sure, some have utilised animation or computer effects but what possible reason could Zemeckis have for making this flick?

I would like to say two more things before closing this review. I wish to address both the score and the aesthetic. Musically speaking, this film is as much a crippled nightmare as Tiny Tim himself. There is almost nothing you can do with it, all stereotypical, unimaginative, upbeat brass and bells or choral renditions of carols. Secondly, we have the feel of the movie, the whole ordeal lacks heart and emotionality, banking solely on the marketable nature of the American vision of an 'accurate' Victorian Christmas. In no other adaptation have I witnessed the general public parading the streets with such smiles and contentment of self. It's just saccharine nonsense.

And the moral of this festive story? The closing thought we take with as the credits roll and we walk back on to the cold streets? Celebrate Christmas with vigour and cheer or you will die sad and alone!

Release Date:
06th November 2009

The Scene To Look Out For:
Two scenes took me by surprise. Well, one really, the other is a point from the book that I never really liked. The ghost of Christmas present is a creature with a fleeting lifespan and as such, withers and dies. His death however, is rather harrowing. Scrooge is introduced to two almost feral children, representing man's ignorance and want. As the children attack Scrooge, the ghost suffers some sort of pulmonary embolism, all the while chortling his arse off. Then there's Scrooge's inevitable repentance and changing of ways. I never liked that. I didn't really get along with the fact that supposedly being nicer to people somehow extends ones life expectancy and cures crippled children. I understand the message but not the practical meaning. Never mind.

Notable Characters:
Character? There were something like five actors in this entire piece and a sum total of maybe four real speaking roles. However, Jim Carrey did exceptionally well as Scrooge (less so as the spirits) but I couldn't shake the feeling that prosthetics and makeup would have gone further to sell the character. There was also Bob Hoskins as Scrooge's first employer, Mr. Fezziwig. The only problem I had with this character was the Christmas dance that followed his introduction - the fucker does some sort of back flip and his wife is suspended, spinning midair; who thought that would be a good idea!?

Highlighted Quote:
"Bugger it!"

In A Few Words:
"The story is so synonymous with Christmas that another adaptation seems a little unnecessary; especially one that looks and feels like a tacky, overcrowded store window display"

Total Score:
5/10


Matthew Stogdon