The Red Right Hand
  www.theredrighthand.co.uk





CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC
All She Ever Wanted Was A Little Credit

Director
P.J. Hogan

Starring
Isla Fisher
Hugh Dancy
Krysten Ritter

You would think a film focusing on abusing credit cards would be more than relevant in our current economic climate. Oddly enough, it's not. No, this is a perfect example of closing the stable door after the horse has bolted. When the novel was penned, some ten years ago, we were riding an economic high without consequence but now almost everybody has debt and the headlines are littered with stories of economic downturn and recession; who needs this movie?

The story itself is a four minute premise dragged out over an hour and three quarters; we are introduced to credit-card jockey, Rebecca Bloomwood [Fisher], who explains that shopping is more than purchasing 'things,' it's a practically orgasmic experience of welcoming acceptance and worth. Like most kids I was raised by parents who were abundantly thrifty and frugal and thanks to them I learned the value of money very quickly - I'm one of those extremely fortunate individuals who doesn't owe any bank, shop or governing body a single penny. Ms. Bloomwood, on the other hand, raised by similar parents, has cast off the shackles of her oppressive begetters and is now the proud owner of twelve fully maxed-out credit cards and an unquenchable thirst for the attainment of 'stuff.' The young, single journalist lives bill-to-bill but when the magazine she works for finally goes bust she is forced to tally up and confront the totals: in this case $16,000. Panic and despair set in as Rebecca not only needs an income to support her bulging invoices but also a way to control the desire to spend. Don't worry this is quickly dealt with, as within the first ten minutes she's already hired by another magazine and becomes an internationally renowned finance columnist literally over night. But will her secret ever get out? Will her friend really be able to help her? Will she her boss/boyfriend/thingy find out she's a liar? Will she ever find the perfect shoes to go with that gorgeous Gucci belt? Will her past catch up with her? Will it all work out in the end? Do I really give two shits? The answer to most of these questions (bar the last) is a rather predictable 'yes.'

**Certain spoilers littered throughout this paragraph**
The plot is so hideously predictable and neat that it's a wonder Ms. Kinsella managed to spawn a successful career off of five books centred on this one individual. I only know one person who has read the book and from what I can gather all the subtle humour has been replaced by unnecessary slapstick and ditzy screwball comedy. What's more, in the end she simply learns her lesson, flogs off her old things and pays off her various bills - throughout the entire movie she manages to land on her feet without acceptable punishment or consequence. It just supports the ridiculous escapist-cinema notion that self-absorbed, bubbly slackers can get away with anything if they put their mind to it: Rebecca not only gets her own way but almost everything she wants, she leeches off of her friend's loyalty and kindness only to slide off onto her new boyfriend's understanding and ultimately learns nothing at all! (Solidified by the final mannequin wink at the end - those who have seen the film will know what I mean) Granted, we can identify with over-spending and credit card trauma, most of us have experienced it at some point in our lives but without a good story, real consequences and ramifications it feels tacky and hollow. I'm not saying the film can't have a positive or upbeat close, not at all, Pursuit Of Happyness managed to achieve just that and say a great deal more without succumbing to these terrible lows.

I think a lot of my abhorrence for this release stems from the lead character. I hated every self-absorbed decision she made, every stupid poorly-written lie she told and more infuriatingly how she just waltzes in and out of serious predicaments without any real sense of urgency or looming seriousness. She just carries on down the street, dancing like a lunatic as she entertains delusions of talking mannequins applauding her will-power and ability to resist spending. I also... erm... this next point is going to sound a little tacky so I'm going to word it with as much film finesse as possible. The clothes were crap. I mean, the costume and design departments left a lot to be desired... Yeah, the clothes were crap; I just didn't like a great deal of the items she was swooning over - not because I'm a guy (I happen to have exceptional taste) but because nothing seemed worthy of the cost. An issue that is briefly addressed in the film as she notes her two hundred dollar cashmere coat is in fact largely polyester or the new throw she cooed over unravels and practically explodes days after purchase. She doesn't learn though, she just wants the designer labels and the stylish looks, regardless of the quality.

It's a shame really because Isla Fisher is an actress I rate rather highly, especially in dramas. You could easily go one step further and state that most of the good actors employed in this release (John Lithgow, John Goodman, Joan Cusack, Kristin Scott Thomas) have largely gone to waste, settling for poor excuses for supporting roles. But I've awarded this film two out of ten, surely there must be something noteworthy to justify such a rating? Well, yes; first off it's set in New York, which regular readers will know grants any film at least one point. Which leaves us with the second positive point, the only other thing to claw it up from being dubbed a 'truly abysmal release.' Could it have been the uplifting paint-by-numbers score? No? The dodgy editing that led to even the most predictable of elements falling in your lap a little too soon? No? Perhaps the fashion and costume desi… no, no, no, we've already covered that one. So what was it? The honest truth is, I genuinely don't know. The film closed, Mr. Wickham muttered 'I hate you' under his breath and we left the screening. And although the film was incredibly hard work and I felt my time had been completely sucked from me, I wasn't left without with the overwhelming desire to kill something. I wasn't screaming 'why would anyone waste so much time and money creating that dross?' The truth is, the only reason it scored above a 1 is because it could have been a great deal worse if the cast were in any way less capable. This is a fine example of a film saved from incineration by a handful of actors who simply needed a pay cheque.

Release Date:
20th February 2009

The Scene To Look Out For:
**Big spoiler but the film is so predictable that you should probably see it coming**
During an effort to rehabilitate herself and clear her debts, Rebecca decides to sell her accumulated wardrobe of fashionable items. As the crowds of slender, elegant women pour into the room, they scream, tug and bid on everything up for grabs. All the while I kept asking, why is she doing that? I don't get it. She's clawing herself out of a hole by picking on the weaknesses of her peers. It's like going cold turkey by selling your entire stash of heroin to a bunch of junkies. You're not improving the situation you're just feeding fellow addicts!

Notable Characters:
Luke the bastard [Dancy]. Not to be mistaken or confused with Luke the kind and compassionate boss who falls for Rebecca. No, I'm talking about the man who gave the whiny stranger twenty dollars just to make her shut up and go away, the editor of a finance magazine who took one look at Rebecca, realised that she was in no way fit for the job and scrapped her name from the interview list. It's too bad that guy disappeared in the opening few minutes, I related to that guy. I have come to the conclusion that he simply wanted to have sex with this woman and decided to employ her and give her chance-after-chance for that reason alone - getting ahead in the world just because you're a ditz with boobs just isn't fair.

Highlighted Quote:
"They said I was a valued customer and now they send me hate mail"

In A Few Words:
"This film could have been so much more, it could have been such a relevant and poignant comedy. Instead, an interesting premise was reduced to superficial bailouts and screwball antics"

Total Score:
2/10


Matthew Stogdon