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| The Red Right Hand www.theredrighthand.co.uk |
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BRIDE WARS Gary Winick Starring Anne Hathaway Kate Hudson Bryan Greenberg Chris Pratt Do you know how many wedding movies I've seen? Over one hundred and forty! Do you know the best of those? Mamma Mia, The Wedding Singer, Monsoon Wedding, Muriel's Wedding and Kill Bill. Would you like to know why they work well? Because contrary to my actual marriage beliefs it's not about the big day, it's all about the bride. That doesn't mean she has to be a bitch or look at cakes for hours on end or whatever, it means the character needs to be likeable; you have to want this woman to get married and be happy - simple as that! The other key aspect I expect is some originality, the true litmus test for any good wedding film. Granted, the genre doesn't give you a great deal to work with but that's no excuse to churn out the same pap over-and-over. I have my own personal gripes with wedding films of late (for reasons I have no intention of going into) but that aside, I still hoped that Hathaway and Hudson would be able to produce a fairly entertaining comedy. I was wrong. The plot follows two best friends, Emma [Hathaway] and Liv [Hudson], from delusional wedding-slapped children to successful independent New York ladies with the sole dream of a 'June wedding at The Plaza'... it's a hotel. By some crazy happenstance ('cause you've gotta get the plot moving somehow) both girls get proposed to within days of one another. Cue all that OH MY GOD! I'M ENGAGED! crap. Then we are introduced to elite wedding organiser Marion St. Claire (played by Candice Bergen... she was in Murphy Brown. Did you ever watch that show? No, me neither) who manages to accidentally book the two girls in on the same day! Dun dun dunn! As best friends do, they decide not to give an inch and turn on each other like hungry, rabid wolves with the teeth and the claws and the biting and the yelping and... and... so much blood! Out of the animal kingdom and in respective girly-film talk that means cheap dirty tricks such as switching hair dyes and altering the tone of spray-on tans - the horror, the horror! The only credible acting performances come from the leads but only because they infuse some maddening sense of belief, somehow tricking audiences into thinking people actually behave this way - which is quite impressive and no easy feat. But everyone else around them might as well have been cardboard cut-outs - the whole thing played out like any narcissistic American's wedding dreams: no one other than the bride really matters, the event is stifled by tat and the message at the end of the day isn't the important one you think it would be. There's also the issue of the movie's rating, which is PG. Surprisingly enough this film manages to side-step a lot of the lewd pit-falls that other films of this nature fall into but at the same time without adult clout and consequences it just panders to little girls and their mindsets of what marriage and adult life is like. At the end of the day, the comedy just wasn't up to standard and other than one mad woman who bloody cackled at everything, audience reaction proved it simply wasn't that amusing. So, to explain my final rating, what are the redeeming features? Well, you know me, the location is instantly awarded one point but for lack of an original setting for such a flick, it has been revoked. I must confess, I did laugh once or twice at a few of the set-ups and managing to steer clear of swearing and what-have-you does show a certain level of responsibility and restraint. There's also the production design and editing, both of which were notably praiseworthy but with a story as bad as this one, everything else just seems to get buried, like a beautiful wedding with all the trimmings but the bride is wearing a thong and bra instead of a dress - you want to say nice things about the day but all that seems to come out is, "What the fuck were you thinking!?" Release Date: UK - 9th January 2009 US - 9th January 2009 The Scene To Look Out For: **Spoiler moment; cover your eyes, boys and girls** I have to talk about it, it can't be avoided. As the film draws to its conclusion the two weddings get underway maybe fifteen feet from one another at the exact same time. The two girls exchange a friendly glance and enter their respective rooms to marry… who-the-fuck-ever, I really don't remember the male leads and it wasn't greatly important. As the final malicious act gets underway Emma snaps and storms into Liv's wedding, tackling her to the ground. FIGHT! So, after the humiliation of ruining both weddings, the girls seem to make up and Emma's groom says, "Well, you've ruined our wedding, are you happy now?" and then she gives him a hard time about falling in love with the girl he met ten years ago... instead of the woman she is now (which is really, really flimsy). So Liv's wedding proceeds and she marries Male #2. At the reception Emma very predictably slow dances with Liv's brother - a set up device that cropped up midway through the film that felt so shoddy - and we are treated to a voiceover from the Murphy Brown lady. This monologue is the reason I highlighted this scene. It was terrible, all about best friends standing by one another no matter what and some other pap about searching for someone who loves you, stands by you and supports you, blah blah. God it was awful. Notable Characters: Hudson was funny. I know, I know, I moaned about the story and I'm usually in Anne Hathaway's court in cruddy films but I liked Hudson's performance. It's weird though, I'm not one to gossip (yeah, I really am) or make unsolicited accusations (er... again, I am) or speak shallowly of another (ok, that one's true) but she looks like she's had a bit of surgery... and possibly adorned a wig. The reason it's weird is 'cause she looks a bit like that girl in Almost Famous. Ah well. Highlighted Quote: "Wait, the International Butter Club? You mean you sat around eating sticks of butter from all over the world?" In A Few Words: "Another unproductive, unnecessary, bitchy bridal film devoid of humour and worth" Total Score: 
3/10Matthew Stogdon |
