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HITMAN Xavier Gens Starring Timothy Olyphant Dougray Scott Olga Kurylenko Directed by Xavier Gens (director of Nothing Important and Some Crap No One Wants To See), Hitman is a on-screen adaptation of the Eidos video game of the same name. Unfortunately, it's crap; really, really crap. This is where I would usually highlight the plot but it's so non-existent that it would be quite difficult. Essentially an assassin known only as 47 is being set up by the agency that spawned him and tracked by the pesky Agent Whittier [Scott] from Interpol. All this while trying to...er... do something... with the Russian government. The video game wasn't bad but was hindered by two large flaws, the repetitive nature and the incredibly far fetched character design - he a beefed bald guy with a barcode tattooed into the back of his head, not exactly gifted with an ability to blend into a crowd. So, the main cast (all 3 of them), how did they fare? Not well, if you must know. Timothy Olyphant, a fairly respectable actor who offered interesting performances in Die Hard 4.0, Go and Deadwood (among other things) at times looked perfect for the role, other times looked like an uncomfortable, shaved cat. Secondly, Olga 'I haven't starred in anything worth mentioning but will probably end up cast as a bond girl' Kurylenko was usually naked and annoying to watch - I understand that will probably come as sacrilege for those who adore pointless nudity in a film but to be honest, it doesn't make a film any better. Thirdly, Dougray Scott exhibited nothing more than some badge-wielding, testosterone-fuelled pratt and I really didn't care about anything he was saying or doing. In all fairness, the action scenes were fairly well executed (when they weren't sped up to give the illusion of swift motion - see 1940's car chases) and offered a good setting through Russia but the location (rather, the whole effort) felt a little odd and ultimately pointless. In addition to the action sequences, the plot had too many loose-ends and open-ended riddles that made little sense. I'm sure it will do well with gun-happy fans and possibly followers of the game but for a good film about hitmen, watch Leon or The Day Of The Jackal. Release Date: 30th November 2007 The Scene To Look Out For: I really liked the part when I remembered that my girlfriend had just bought me a copy of Bladerunner: The Final Cut (5 Disc Deluxe Edition) and it was sitting in a bag next to us. I remember the thought of taking it home and watching a truly awesome (awesome in the classic sense of the word) film... then I realised I was watching Hitman and sunk into my seat a little. There was also a moment when Agent 47 had some Russian agent chained with barbed wire, explaining some elaborate scheme on how he will die unless he does as told. 47 calmly states, "Live or die, it's your choice." Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that copyright of the Saw series? Hmm... Notable Characters: Olga's breasts and other assorted absurd moments of nudity... which spent more time on screen than a large majority of the supporting cast. Highlighted Quote: "Stop talking or I'll put you back in the trunk" In A Few Words: "Action schlock nonsense that wishes it was half as good as Transporter" Total Score:   3/10Matthew Stogdon |
